You Are In My Way

I do something that frustrates me. Sometimes when I post my articles or status updates for others to see I will remove some of them as time goes by. I do this because I second guess myself and worry about people judging me negatively.

Battling my low self esteem can be aggravating and at times it feels like I am on a emotional roller coaster. I am constantly going up and down and back and forth with my thoughts. One minute I am telling myself that I don''t care what anyone else thinks about me but then other times I do worry about it.  Being like this is only holding me back from becoming who I would like to be.

I don't want to care if someone else thinks that I am pretentious, stupid, weird, etc... I want to do what I feel to be right and to not let my fear of being judged stop me anymore. I see nothing wrong with writing about how I feel and writing about the things that I have gone through. I am trying to tell myself now that if someone is bothered by me than they can tell me how they feel or just ignore what I have to say or share.

I would also like to be open to criticism about myself and respectful to others if something I have done or said bothers them in any way. However it is up to them to say something to me about it first. All I know is that I would like to stop assuming that people think badly about me before even knowing it.

I do not mean to offend or hurt anyone if I have. I do all of this for me. Writing helps me because it gets some of my thoughts out of my head and that leaves more room for bigger and better ones. I am going to continue trying to be open and honest and I do not plan on hiding.

The Truth Is, No One Else Is Standing In My Way, Only Me.