I Just Don't Know

Telling Lily that Santa is coming is contradictory to how I try and parent. I plan on answering her questions as honestly as I can. I do not want to try and avoid hard or uncomfortable subjects like death, sex, drugs or anything else that can be hard to talk about. I think that she has the right to know if she asks. Obviously I will go about these hard issues delicately but I will go to them. But Santa? I use to love thinking that he was real and I don't know if Lily would choose to have that feeling or not. I just don't know. Do I lie to her but possibly give her a great memory?  Or do I ask her to talk to someone else about him when she asks me? I just dont know......

We Were Free Birds Today

(One) Of The Greatest

Went for a walk today. It's the first time that I have ever taken Lily down these streets by myself. I have been too afraid to up until today because they are kinda busy.

I have to get us out of this house more often. Not being able to drive can be  hard, aggravating and depressing at times. Sometimes I feel like a bird in it's cage when I look out the window, when I am home all alone. I don't ever want Lily to feel like a bird because of my handicap.

Today we did it. We went to a store about 2 miles away and we bought some stuff to make Christmas presents. It was a lot of fun.

I know that I can not see well and I do not need anyone to tell me that I should not walk because of that because I doubt myself enough. I know my limits and I care about Lily's safety more than anyone else. Please do not question that when I finally gather up enough courage to get out on my own.
I need to.