When?

How do you get to where you want to be but don’t know how to get there? How can you know when you can’t? How can you want something so badly but still fail and how can you try when you have tried before but have failed? How can I succeed when I believe deep down that there is no hope? How do I push through when I feel like there is no other side? When do I start believing what my heart is telling me and when do I put my doubts aside?  How do you pick yourself up when you are too weak to stand and when will I get up and stay up? When will I start being the person that I feel like inside? The person that I once was is holding me back. The person that I am trying to be is being pulled. I am in the fight to pick myself back up, the fight to continue and the fight to try again. I heard a wise saying not too long ago, “The people who have no hope are easily controlled”. I have been controlled, have felt controlled and have tried to control. When will I start to control myself?